My last Blog – September 2010 – is long forgotten and as my avowed intent was to add further commentary, fell by the wayside, it being Sunday 20th March 2011, I am well prepared to welcome the spring equinox, which arrives later. To add a few explanations. Spring could not be more welcome and timely, for it has been a brutal winter in more ways than one.
Firstly of course, winter weather has been a cold, snowy up-and-down progression of storms. We experienced – wouldn’t say enjoyed – a couple of short thaws when snows turned to slush and rains added even more misery to our daily lives, before plummetting temperatures turned the sloppy slush, into rigid sculptures of ice, more reminiscent of those found in the Arctic wastes than Southern Ontario. Roads became dangerously hazardous, for even the simple chore of walking the dog. On occasion this was more challenging than making an attempt upon Mount Everest. Cleats on our boots, became the norm for without? Walking would have been extremely dangerous and almost impossible. Although there were times when it was regarded as hilarious to see Scamp, our ageing Cairn Terrier, slipping on ice and snow – and him with four feet nonetheless – we had a great deal of sympathy for his inability to walk safely.
But the more apposite and troublesome part of this past winter, has been the sequence of health events that one hopes never to experience at any time of the year, but finds even more difficult to tolerate when days are continuing cold and dull. Insidiously the non-stop succession of events, can and does whittle away one’s resistance and for myself, the dreaded S.A.D. syndrome begins to intrude, adding further to the woes and myseries of winter. Fortunately, some progress in the stemming and overcoming of its effects have been made, and I for one, have proven this for myself, this past three months. By the purchase of a “Day-Light” contrivance and its use, I have stayed the worst effects of S.A.D. and hope with spring returning, to return to receiving my daily dose of needed sunshine. I honestly recommend to all, or any who suffer from this form of winter deprivation, to seriously consider buying such a device. For myself, it has made life tolerable and far more uplifting than that enjoyed for more winters than I care to remember.
Finally, at least this is my hope, a series of small but debilitating accidents, took their toll and was something I wished to have avoided. For more than a year, my health has been in a low state of affairs since I was stricken with a bout of pneumonia in late 2009. After being misdiagnosed, which delayed my recovery, my elan for living stood at its lowest level ever. Later, both my wife and I contracted another outbreak of shingles. This was the third such outbreak in five years, but added to the irritating effects of this disease, came an attack of Meniere’s Disease for me! Vertigo being its most obvious, primary effect is one that, believe you me, is not to be treated as some light, passing inconvenience. Fortunately there is a drug (SERC) that helps one so stricken, that controls its worst effects. Once my Meniere’s was diagnosed, and the drug prescribed, the vertigo attacks were, to all intents and purposes, no longer a primary factor, but not before depression began to exert its presence with strength! I am convinced, that had it not been for the constant love and close attention of my wife, I would have sunk further and perrhaps reached a dangerous level.
But depression slowly began to lift, and with her constant love and support, I eventually began to see the light at the end of the very long and dark tunnel. Although there were corners and obstacles still lurking unseen, with her support and understanding, I have safely negotiated my way through. This journey was made all the more difficult and slower than expected as inclement weather conditions – for the summer of 2010 was the wettest on record – kept me from following and enjoying the ever healing therapy of garden work. This therapy has always stood me in good stead before, and is one found to be the perfect tonic to cure most of my ills. Especially those affecting my mental well being. But the summer was survived and daily, despite my lack of physical activity in the garden, there was improvement in my life. It did in turn, allow me to employ time normally spent in the garden when conditions are favourable, to return to writing more poetry. Writing poetry is a therapy in itself, as I have found, for one can distance themselves from the worries of the day, be they real or imagined, and become lost in the tranquillity of a poetic moment. As I slowly emerged from my depression, my poems became more upbeat and positive. Certainly obvious when compared with those written at the time of my lowest self esteem.
It would seem however, that my recovery was not to be without more set-backs. This time though, it was not myself that suffered, but my wife. The steadfast and unflappable rock upon which I have relied so heavily this past months, suffered a heavy blow to her right temple a little over two weeks ago. Nothing more than an accident which happened in a moment of distraction, it has nonetheless, long lasting consequences which are only now, beginning to lessen.
A light concussion was the diagnosis, but it was and remains, a slow recuperation for her. With days when all seemed to be returning to normal, there have been days when I in panic, have rushed her to the Emergency Room at the local hospital, when symptoms were such as to concern me greatly. Only after hours of waiting, with no scans or x-rays taken, were we told that ‘time’ is the only healing available. After seeing how long the recuperation time is for athletes who, one presumes are in far fitter shape than such as ourselves – senior citizens with a yen for sitting rather than chasing a ball or hockey puck – one is forced to accept the recommendations of doctors who, despite their being as conscientious as they intend, have a work load that overwhelms even the most stalwart. As most Emergency Doctors appear to be Locum Tenens gaining experience in the everyday world, one cannot help but sympathise and understand their inability to add much ‘bedside manner’ to their repertoire, whilst having some reservations as to their capability! I doubt many of us can truly understand the stress they accept on a daily basis, either.
So today, with some trepidation ever present, for one does not lightly dismiss any signs of possible further repercussions, howsoever they might occur, I look forward to a enjoying a substantial improvement in our lives, being determined the spring equinox will mark a change for the better, and the search for that, ever so important, ‘correct’ word, to use in a poem, is the worst it gets!
Ever optimistic. Rhymer.
